Perspectives: Pain Isn't Suffering

“I don’t feel pain any more. Guess what baby, I feel FREEEEEEEE” - Kanye West & Kid Kudi

Taken From The Garden

2000 years ago in the garden of Gethsemane, Judas, one of Jesus’s twelve disciples, arrived with a large crowd armed with swords and clubs. With a kiss, Judas betrayed Jesus, and the Son of God was seized and arrested. Peter's friend, teacher, lord and savior was about to be taken by roman guards to God knows where and Peter wasn’t having it. 

With adrenaline pumping through his veins and rage in his heart, he struck a soldier and cut off his ear. He was ready to die defending his Lord. But Jesus stepped forth and told Peter to calm down. With a gentle hand, he touched the wound of his would-be captor and completely healed his ear. Jesus ended up going willingly to endure one of the most gruesome and painful punishments of that time.

Over the coming days he would be whipped mercilessly, starved of food and drink, dragged around half naked… and that was only the beginning. Jesus endured assembling and carrying the 300 pound cross that he would end up  being nailed to while he slowly died from blood loss. 

I can’t pretend to know what Jesus went through in cavalry or why he did it, but if I were to guess, I would say that at least one of the reasons Jesus gracefully went through this ordeal was because he understood that his pain and suffering was necessary. 

Pain and Suffering 

Pain is an unpleasant feeling in your body that can be sharp or dull, and can feel like a prick, sting, burn, or ache. It can be a signal that something is wrong with your body. Pain is simultaneously a universal experience and a personal experience. We all know what pain feels like but the degree is arbitrary. We all have different tolerance for pain. What might be unbearable pain to you might just be another Tuesday for me. 

It might be tempting to see pain as a bad thing but it really isn’t. Pain is just a messenger. It’s a sign that there is something wrong somewhere. 

Suffering on the other hand is a bit more nuanced. The dictionary defines suffering as “a state of experiencing pain” but I don’t completely agree with that definition. Suffering to me is a negative mental and emotional response to pain. Suffering is the feeling of despair and agony that comes with pain.

In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus showed signs and behaviors that suggested he was in agony and distress. He prayed throughout the night, periodically returning to His disciples to find them sleeping. The Gospels recount Jesus calling them out for their weakness and inability to keep watch during this time of deep need, a time when He prayed so earnestly the Gospel of Luke said “His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground”.

Eventually, he came down once more from the center of the garden. This time his countenance was different, he appeared resolute, ready to face the path that he was destined for. Are you still sleeping and resting?” Jesus asked. “Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes My betrayer!” (Mark 14:41-42).

Pain Is Inevitable But Suffering Can Be A Choice?

“Nothing’s worse than being stupid. Being broke is bad, but being stupid is what’s really bad. And what’s really really bad is being broke and stupid. Nothing’s much worse than that. Unless you’re sick. Sick, broke and stupid, that’s about as far as you can fall unless you’re ugly. Surely that would be the ultimate; ugly, sick, broke and stupid.” - Jim Rohn 

Like I said earlier, pain is a feeling of physical discomfort, and suffering is an emotional experience that is usually associated with pain. Pain and suffering go hand in hand. We as human beings will always experience these two forces. It's inevitable that we will be injured, bruised, pricked, poked, burnt, pinched, punched, slapped etc over the span of our life.

Now I understand that the world we live in is a bad place with all sorts of nasty things going down every day. There are countless reasons to feel pain every single day, be it physical or emotional pain. You might be living in a corrupt system, maybe it's too hot, or too cold, or you’re being “oppressed”.

Most times, it's not even your fault. You are just trying to get by and the pain just creeps up on you. What on earth have you done to deserve that?

I understand. But even though I understand, I want to present to you an idea. What if sometimes, you are choosing to suffer? 

You might ask me; “Why on earth would I ever want to be in a state of agony and anguish? Why would you want to suffer?”.  

You might not want to, but some of you have chosen to. Some people stink of so much suffering and bad vibes that it’s very obvious that they have deliberately hoarded that energy around themselves. They have knowingly or unknowingly entered themselves into a cycle of suffering that only ever leads to pain and bad experiences. 

It starts when something bad happens, let's say you lost your job. Of course it sucks, and you’re probably right to be in a bad mood about it for a while. But a sour mood doesn't help you do the things necessary to move on from that event and find a new job. In fact, a bad mood can actually hurt your efforts to move on. A lot of people stay in a mood for such a long time, they teach it to their bodies and minds and after a while, your bad mood develops into a bad attitude.

Your “attitude" is how you view or feel about a specific situation or person, meaning it's more focused on a particular object or event and can change depending on the context. In the case of losing your job, you might develop a bad attitude toward authority or towards work. You might develop a bad attitude towards the race or ethnic group of the boss who fired you. These bad attitudes will shape your experiences in contexts that fall under the workplace and general nature of work.

What happens when you maintain a bad attitude for a while? It spreads. The bad attitude you have towards the workplace will inevitably spread to other areas of your life. There are so many associations you can make with the workplace or losing your job such that your bad attitude will definitely pollute other aspects of your life; like your relationship with time management or learning for instance. 

When your bad attitude spreads and festers, it develops into a temperament and at this point, it's really difficult to change. This is the point at which your suffering becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. This is the point where each bad thing will lead to another worse thing and you never seem to be able to catch a break. At this point suffering is your reality you might almost feel anxious or uncomfortable when everything is roses and sunshine.

The natural reaction to suffering is to reject it. For most people, the very act of rejecting their suffering causes them to suffer even more. So what then is the antidote to suffering? How can you choose fulfillment over your current misfortune?

The Antidote to Suffering

“ I seen a baby cry. Seconds later she laughed. The beauty of life, the pain never lasts “ - J.Cole

After they got to the garden, Jesus acknowledged His sadness to his disciples as he said “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Mark 14:34).

He walked a bit farther from them and cried out to God.  “Abba, Father, everything is possible for You. Take this cup from me.”

For the first and only time in the bible, we saw Jesus despair. And what’s worse is for a large chunk of that time, He was alone. No one but Him has a record of exactly what transpired in the middle of the garden. No one but him knows the depth of his Suffering at that moment. But what we do know that he did was pray. He prayed so hard that he shook the garden, he prayed so hard that his sweat was described as blood pouring down his skin. He prayed so hard that he left all His disciples behind, they just couldn’t keep up. And at the end of the day, when it was time for him to be betrayed, he was ready.

I’ve recently found that the only way out of suffering is Discipline. You need to take conscious control of yourself long enough to do the things that you need to do. To be disciplined, you need to have a goal. A goal that means enough to you that you are willing to not flinch in the face of any obstacles. You have to want it that much.

If you have a goal like this, you would be willing to put yourself through pain, suffering and discomfort in order to achieve your vision. You would be willing to go hungry, tired and half-broken if it means that you would finally see your dreams in real life. Jesus had the ultimate goal, and he was ready to die painfully to see it through.

The reason discipline alleviates suffering is because discipline keeps you going. Discipline makes you familiar with pain, and when you are familiar with pain you will realize that pain and suffering isn’t meant to last. I read a quote somewhere that went something like “ If you are going through hell, keep moving, hell is no place to stop”. In a season of pain and bad events, the best thing you can do for yourself is focus on the goal and do the things you need to do. 

Eventually your life gets a lot better, and the things you need to do become a lot more pleasant. Eventually, the suffering passes and ushers in fulfillment. 

Take a Chance

In my last letter, I said being is a verb. It’s all about what you do and how you behave, not what you feel or think. 

So, if you are tired of suffering, take a chance. Try with all your might, and I really mean all your might. Try to consciously get yourself to do something that is difficult or inconvenient for you, that you know will make your life better. 

Make your bed, read a book, go to the gym, run 10 kilometers. Refuse to let your feelings, environment or other people get in the way of you making your life even slightly better. Put yourself through that temporary pain so that you can avoid long term suffering. Just like Jesus in the garden when he prayed through the night, you will find that with a strong goal and the discipline to follow through, you will come out of your suffering and gracefully achieve everything you want.

Take a chance, do what you have to do even if it hurts. Pain isn't suffering

Love,

Udoka