You're Not Perfect and That's Okay

"We do not remember days, we remember moments." - A quote I like

If you've ever watched the adult animated series BoJack Horseman, you know it's a show that doesn't shy away from depicting the messier sides of life.

The main character, BoJack, is a washed-up sitcom star who struggles with depression, addiction, and self-destructive behavior.

He's deeply flawed, makes countless mistakes, and often hurts the people around him.

In many ways, BoJack is the antithesis of the polished, perfect image we often see in the media.

His life is a stark reminder that even those who achieve a certain level of success can be deeply imperfect and grapple with significant challenges.

But here's the thing; BoJack's story, as dark as it can be, is also a story about the search for meaning, connection, and ultimately, self-acceptance.

The show suggests it's okay to be flawed, that everyone is on their own messy journey, and that forgiveness (of ourselves and others) is possible.

I think there's something incredibly valuable in that message.

We live in a world that often pressures us to present a perfect facade, to hide our vulnerabilities, and to pretend that we have it all figured out.

But the truth is, no one is perfect.

We all make mistakes, we all have insecurities, and we all struggle at times.

C'est la vie!

"Sin": A Misunderstood Word

Most people understand sin as some sort of transgression against divine law or moral code.

It's often seen as a (deliberate) act that goes against God's will.

While all of this count as sin, the original meaning of the word is a bit more all-encompassing.

"Sin" simply means a failure to fulfill a goal or to a miss in aim.

As in "missing the mark" or "straying from the path"

This means that for you to sin, there must be standards in place that you are expected to meet.

For you to sin, there must be a path that you are expected to follow.

Standards are the price we pay for order in this world. They exist so we can enjoy safety, excellence and even beauty.

There is no shortage of rhythm-less musicians, bad writers, quack doctors or untrained tradesmen all over the world.

For us to have safe roads, for our bridges not to sink and our internet to never go out, we absolutely need standards.

And as far as we have standards, people will always fall short of them.

To be human is to sin. We are all guilty.

No matter how hard you try, some combination of your own insufficiency and the raging chaos of the universe will conspire to derail you from your path.

You won't always "hit the mark".

And that's okay.

Perfection is Just an Idea

I've been thinking a lot about expectations lately.

It seems like everywhere you turn, there's this unspoken pressure to be perfect.

Social media highlights, carefully curated images, the highlight reels of people's lives.

It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that everyone else has it all figured out, that they're living these flawless existences while you're just... trying to keep your head above water.

But here's the thing: that's a lie.

Perfection is a myth.

Think about it. Even the most successful people, the ones we admire, have their own struggles, their own insecurities.

They've faced setbacks, made mistakes, and experienced failures.

It's part of the human experience.

We tend to forget that though. We only see the polished end product, not the messy process it took to get there.

We compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel and of course we come up short.

This creates a distorted view of reality that makes us feel inadequate.

When you're constantly measuring yourself against some impossible standard, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

You become your own worst critic, focusing on your flaws and shortcomings instead of acknowledging your strengths and progress.

You get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, afraid to take risks or put yourself out there because you fear not being good enough.

This is a dangerous trap, and it's one that keeps so many people from reaching their full potential.

The Power of Compassion

"To err is human; to forgive, divine." - Another quote I like

Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes, you might want to try treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend.

Forgiveness is a fundamental need of every sinner. And you should be the first person to offer yourself forgiveness.

Acknowledge your pain, forgive yourself, and learn from the experience.

Remember, growth comes from overcoming challenges, not from pretending to be perfect.

And you don't have to stop at forgiving yourself. You should also think about extending that same grace to others.

Just like you, everyone else is fighting their own battles and dealing with their own insecurities. They're not perfect either.

You might find that life gets a bit better when you stop judging people harshly or assigning ridiculous expectations to them.

Perfection is a mirage. The more you chase it, the further away it seems to get. This is true whether you expect perfection from yourself or if you expect it from others.

Remember that everyone deserves compassion, including yourself.

Just Get Back On Track

Instead of perfection, I've learned to strive for progress.

Instead of waiting for the "perfect" moment, the "perfect" opportunity, or the "perfect" version of myself, I've learned to focus on taking action.

And I think you should too.

Embrace the messiness of the process. Learn as you go. Improve with each iteration.

The idea isn't to never stray from the path. It's to get back on track every time you do.

Sure, you'll lose some progress. And it might not feel great. But that's how you truly become someone exceptional.

Every time you get back on track, you get better at getting back on track.

And as you get better at getting back on track, the more it seems like you never stray.

Forgive yourself for failing and then get back up.

Your imperfections may not disappear overnight, but your progress will compound over time.

Conclusion

You will always fall short at some point. That's just life.

The good news is that you don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love, success, or happiness. You just need to go out and actually get it.

So, let go of the illusion of perfection. Embrace your imperfections and keep moving forward, with courage and self-compassion.

And don't forget to extend that courage and compassion to others.

Remember, your journey is unique, your story is valuable, and your imperfections are part of what makes you, YOU.

Love,

Udoka